Family

The Time I Wanted To Quit As a Parent & How I Got Through It

A couple years ago, Tawnya wrote a post that spawned a number of other bloggers, myself included, to share their confessions of an imperfect mom. That little series has been on my mind lately and I wanted to confess something that’s been weighing heavily on me the last couple weeks.

I’ve been faced with challenges throughout the past four years as a parent, but the last few months have been the toughest. I reached my lowest point where I was ready to wave the white flag.

The so-called terrible twos were minor in comparison to the [expletive] fours in my house. There was a week in late November where everything was met with a battle of epic proportions. Nothing I did would make Liam listen, no form of punishment seemed to get through to him, and it was spiraling out of control on both ends. Every day was met with me in tears, texting and calling friends and family frustrated and desperate for new discipline tactics to try.

I felt like I was failing as a parent. I had no idea what I was doing and I had no idea what to do to make things better. I feared I would never be able to properly discipline my own child and that if he can’t listen to me at this age, I’d have a nightmare on my hands in a few more years. I was losing it just as much as he was. I wanted to give up, to quit being a parent.

By December things were so bad that tantrums were met with hitting, kicking, slamming doors, screaming and throwing things. They would go from zero to 60 at the drop of a hat. I was experiencing anxiety that was through the roof and was hardly able to cope with the situation. At one point I resorted to physically restraining my son until he calmed down enough to stop slapping me, running away and throwing everything in his path because I couldn’t find any other way to get him to stop. I hated that I had to do that. I hated that I couldn’t find a better way to deal with these outbursts. I felt like pieces of both of us were breaking the further down this destructive path we went. That night I texted my day home provider desperate for advice. She raised six children of her own and has run an amazing day home for years, surely she knows a thing or two about how to deal with these situations. I needed whatever advice I could get.

She recommended a book to me, Kids Are Worth It! Raising Resilient, Responsible and Compassionate Kids by Barbara Coloroso. I hoped to hell that it would provide me with some sort of tool for not only getting my strong willed son to listen to me but to help me keep my cool in the midst of outbursts and meltdowns. For what it was worth, I was hoping for a miracle.

It’s not that my son is a bad kid. But there is no question that he is strong-willed (serves me right for naming him something that literally means ‘strong willed’) and I think I’m the lucky one who gets tested the most. This book has definitely taught me a lot about my parenting style and given me a lot to think about. Since finishing it a few days ago, I’ve been putting my learnings to work and have been having some major parenting wins. I’ve also been making a point to do a quick 15-minute yoga and meditation every night. I feel like I have control of this parenting thing again. My patience feels stronger, the anxiety isn’t creeping up and the fits aren’t lasting as long. Sure, there are still struggles and I am identifying a lot of things I can be doing differently but I’m still learning and I think I’m on a better path (for now, we all know how fast things can change).

I wanted to share this experience to let you know that you’re not alone if you’re struggling through your parenting journey right now. It’s ok to feel like you’re failing as a parent (you’re not), it’s ok to feel like things will never get better (they will), it’s ok to feel like you want to give up at times and it’s ok to reach out for help and advice. Remember that it takes a village. Take care of yourself. Do yoga, meditate, get a massage, take a bath, whatever it takes to help you get into a better headspace. Read books, talk to friends or relatives, neighbours or strangers about what you’re struggling with what’s worked for them. Try new things and when they don’t work, try something else.

Remember that you’re not alone, we’re all imperfect parents.

 

 

 

photo credits:  tawnya nicole photography

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Where to Workout in Red Deer

Where to Workout in Red Deer: RYDE RD

Where to Workout in Red Deer

Ah spinning, the fitness class that I hate to love and love to hate. Jess and I popped into this new studio to kick off our first Where to Workout session of the New Year. One of us left Ryde RD a sweaty mess after, the other one left looking adorable as always. I was the sweaty one. Spin is a great cardio workout, with some classes even utilizing hand weights and various movements that get you a full body workout. For me, it definitely gets my heart rate soaring, the sweat dripping and the hamstrings burning. Here’s what you can expect from your first visit to Ryde.

Ryde RD

About RYDE RD

Ryde is new to the Red Deer fitness scene, opening in late 2016. The boutique spin and body studio is quickly gaining momentum and adding more class sizes to the meet the demands for indoor cycling turned party. Not only that, they have a pretty sweet partnership going on with Hudsons Canada as an added incentive to get your spin on.

They have a handful of fun instructors, all with their own personalities and music tastes to add to their classes. If one instructor isn’t quite your jam, try another one until you find someone who gives you just the fun workout you’re looking for. If you’re lucky, you might even catch a team teach, where two instructors join forces and maybe even indulge in a battle of different musical styles.

The studio has a simple design, with crisp white walls and industrial features, plus a selection of apparel if you’re looking to update your fitness workout. Their Eat Sleep Ryde Repeat tanks are super cute.

Ryde RD

About the Classes

Ryde offers three different ryde classes:

Ryde 30 – a 30 minute lunch time crunch class

Ryde 50 – a 50-minute ride that includes a weight track for a full body workout

Sip and Ryde – a 50-minute ride plus a $10 voucher to refuel at Hudsons

Have you ever gone to a night club or concert where the combination of the music, the lighting, the energy of the people around you created this energy that had you dancing your little heart out until suddenly the lights come on and you have to go home but you don’t really know how that much time could have possibly gone by because you were having way too much fun? That’s kind of what it’s like to take a Ryde class. You can expect the music to be pumpin’, the lights to be flashing and the energy to be high and for there to be some dancing atop your bike seat. It’s a sweaty party that will make you check your watch twice to make sure the class didn’t end early because it flies by.

If you’re looking for a break from the bike, Ryde offers Fit 60, an hour long full body workout class. Comprised of a mix of boot camp, HIIT, plyo, kettlebells, you’ll challenge your strength and flexibility.

Want to combine spin and body workout? Ryde and Lyft start with a 30-minute ride and follows up with a 20-minute body pump class.

Ryde RD

Cost

Single Ryde: $19

Lunch Crunch: $10

Ryde 5 pack: $80

Ryde 10 pack: $150

Ryde 20 pack: $275

Monthly pack: $175

New Ryder offer (2 weeks unlimited): $40

Special spin shoes and a towel to catch that dripping sweat are included in each class at no additional cost.

What I Loved Most

My favourite part of Ryde is the intimate party atmosphere. The small space allows for you to feed off the energy of the other riders in the room mixed with the dark room, fun lights on the roof and loud music. Somehow this all combines to make 50 minutes fly by in flash. Like, it has to be some sort of time warp when you enter that room. Since spin isn’t the easier, no the most fun workout for me, this kind of atmosphere makes me forget how much my brain is swearing at my body.

Of course, I always love a studio with beautiful decor. The white walls, gold accents, and industrial decor plus those kick ass lights in the spin room are amazing. Ryde RD

For More Ryde RD

ryde-rd.com

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Healthy Living

Tips For Attending Your First Fitness Class

With the New Year in full swing, some people may be looking to start or switch up their fitness routines as part of their resolutions. If you’re just starting out on your fitness journey, or even if you’re just making the switch to a new studio, it can be a bit intimidating. I turned to social media to ask some of my fit friends for their advice on starting a new fitness class (thanks to those people who responded!)

attending-your-1st-fitness-class

 

I think this one is important. Most facilities offer an introductory class or a trial week and I think it’s important to find something you love before making a commitment. That way, you don’t dread going and end up quitting, you’ll look forward to it and stick with it!

I always make sure I arrive early before a new class to fill out paperwork, check out the facility and get set up for the class. Giving yourself a good half hour before the class starts enables you to chat with the instructor, let them know about any previous injuries you may have, and get all the equipment you need out and ready without feeling rushed and frazzled. It’s great if you can even go in a couple days early to tour the facility and ask any questions you may have ahead of time.

Everyone has had a first time at some point. I remember during my first BodyPump class, I had no idea what weights I should be using for an upcoming track and had to ask people nearby what they recommended. The more you are able to ask questions, the faster you’ll be comfortable with the classes and pretty soon, a new person will be turning to you to ask a question!

Truth! And no one is going to be judging you for being new. If they are, it might not be the place for you. There will always be a supportive group to welcome you openly and help you have fun and achieve your goals.

Some more tips:

  • No one is looking at you. Promise. Everyone will be focusing on their own workouts to watch what you’re doing.
  • Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself. I’ve laughed my way through my first classes many times because I wasn’t able to keep up or was too uncoordinated. And you know what? It made the experience that much more fun because I wasn’t frustrated or afraid that I wasn’t at the same level as the more experienced class goers.
  • Chat up your fellow gym goers – you never know when you will find a new gym buddy. I have a handful of friends throughout the city that I’ve met from whatever gym I was attending at the time.
  • Make sure you wear the right clothing for your workout. There’s nothing worse than showing up for a class that is high intensity when you were expecting low intensity and wore the wrong sports bra, or showing up for a class you thought was barefoot but you needed to wear shoes (been there, done that).

What tips do you have for someone heading to their first fitness class? 
Anyone have any first timer experiences to share?