It’s no surprise that my life has changed dramatically over the last couple years, especially when it comes to my definition of healthy living. I’ve gone from working out 6+ times a week doing Crossfit, yoga, and running, to sporadic home workouts here and there. Over the last couple years since returning to work after mat leave, I’ve gone in waves of being super consistent working out 5-6 days a week, to going weeks between workouts. It’s definitely been a struggle for me to find steady balance in the fitness department.
My workout time is limited to evenings where I have only a couple hours after Liam is in bed to workout, blog, tidy the house, shower, etc. Sometimes that window is shortened when the toddler drags bedtime out for far too long, which is becoming increasingly frequent these days. Sometimes I’m just exhausted after a full day of work and parenting. I rarely take time to sit down and just relax. No matter what happens, there just never seems to be enough time and I’m always left battling with the voice telling me ‘no excuses’.
But there are, it’s called life. Life happens.
I’ve beat myself up about it, compared myself to others in similar situations that kill it with their workouts, showered myself in guilt and have sworn at those fitspo posts shaming me for not being able to get shredded on top of everything else going on in my life. One of the most humbling lessons you learn as a parent is that you can’t possibly do everything. You have to take a look at your priorities and focus on what’s most important. Before Liam, fitness was absolutely my #1 priority. Now? Liam is my priority. I want to give him my full attention when we’re together which means everything else gets put on hold. It’s time to work on finding a balance between relaxing in the evenings, blogging, and working out because cramming all three into one evening every day just isn’t working and I’m finally ready to admit that. That doesn’t mean I want to give up fitness altogether, but it means maybe I need to be kinder to myself (another post all on its own) and balance my workout time and relax time a little better.
I’ve decided that I’m done setting myself up to fail. It’s not feasible for me to run myself ragged trying to keep up with workouts every day. I’m done comparing myself to others who can somehow manage to do it all because their situation is different than mine. Their priorities are different than mine. I’m ready to accept that life happens and that fitting in two or three solid workouts a week, instead of 5 or 6, and letting myself relax a couple nights is ok. I’m a better mother when I allow myself time rest and relax, with much more patience than when I’m worrying about all the things I should be doing or exhausted because I don’t ever stop.
Life happens and that’s ok.